Movie Review - Pirates Of The Caribbean III

To begin with - what the heck happened to "midnight" premiers? We were all set to go to the late, late show and then found that the new Pirates flick was showing as early as 8:00 PM all over the city. Ah, well, midnight movies with the kids were a lot of fun while they lasted but Southern Man has no complaints at all about being home and blogging by midnight instead of, say, fourish.

That said, it has not been a good season for movies with "3" in the title and Pirates is no exception. To start with, they've pretty much abandoned the campy fun of the first (in which pretty much no one got hurt until the very end when Captain Sparrow shot Captain Barbossa, and Barbossa didn't stay dead all that long) or even the second (in which Davie Jones and his fishy crew were more comic relief than evil villain). This pirate movie opens with mass hangings - including a small boy - and is quickly followed by one more-or-less innocent bystander shot in the head and another executed by a uniformed soldier at point-blank range - and both victims are women, by the way. Hardly the stuff of pirate comedy. Indeed, Southern Man could have done without the entire first hour of this movie, which was occasionally dazzling but mostly boring and confusing. But somewhere after that point the film sort of rediscovers its roots but the fun stuff is always intermixed with stabbings and impalings and other inventive on-screen deaths. It's too long and too complicated and (as did Spider-Man III) spent too much on effects and not nearly enough on the script.

Some reviewers are trotting out the old line of "if you liked the first two, you'll like this one." Sorry, not in this case. Pirates III is quite a different movie from either of the first two and you may like it and then again you may not. Southern Man gives it a thumbs down and will buy the DVD only under intense pressure from his young'uns. And then it'll be watched once and soon forgotten while the first and second continue to earn spin time in the players.

ADDENDUM - On further reflection Southern Man may have been too harsh. Teen daughter purchased the movie soundtrack, which is terrific and is getting a lot of time in Southern Man's car stereo. And Southern Man must admit that Geoffrey Rush's Captain Barbossa goes a long way to carrying the film when Johnnie Depp's Captain Sparrow falls short. So Southern Man may relent and see this one again with the kids some weekend soon.