Southern Man

Friday, May 11, 2007


It turns out that the felonious plot alluded to in the previous post was that several middle-school-aged girls (including Southern Man's daughter) were to kidnap a classmate (with the full complicity of her parents and boyfriend) and haul her off to a surprise birthday party at another house. Southern Man's role in this charade was to drive the getaway vehicle. So off we went - we being Southern Man and three teenage middle-school ninja schoolgirls "disguised" by silly masks procured from the local Party Planet - to do the dirty deed.

We arrived at the victim's home and the girls were admitted through a side door by the victim's dad. They soon emerged with the kidnap victim bound, gagged, and blindfolded and with camera-wielding parents in close pursuit (pics to be incorporated into this post when Southern Man gets copies). The aforementioned victim was unceremoniously tossed into the back of Southern Man's old SUV and away we went.

Betwen quoting random lines from his script ("Is she the one that saw it? We'll take her to the dungeon!") Southern Man also gave some thought as to what he would say to the nice officer if caught with a bondaged underage teen in the back of his truck. In the meanwhile, the dialog from the back seat was somewhat sillier:

"Uncomfortable? Of course you're uncomfortable! This is a kidnapping! Did you expect pillows?"

After some circuitous decoy driving through a parking lot or two (causing the "victim's" guesses as to where we were to wander further and further afield) we arrived at our destination where the victim was unceremoniously tossed into a tornado shelter and Southern Man was dispatched to purchase pizzas. By the time he returned the party was in full swing. By the time he returned again two hours later much pizza and cake and ice cream and candy had been consumed and everyone was soaking wet. Southern Man didn't inquire as to why (something to do with an extended water war that started with balloons but quickly escalated to other weapons of mass soakage) but just tossed them in the back seat, took the accomplices home, and finally returned with his dripping teenage daughter to the relative peace and quiet of the now-so-nice-and-tidy casa Southern Man.

Thus kicks off another weekend with the kids. Teen daughter showered and changed and baked cookies and Southern Man put in some quality trampoline time with his baby girl. Tomorrow is completely unscheduled so there's no telling what we'll do. Southern Man will state that no alarm clocks will be set tonight and if we end up dragging ourselves out of bed at the crack of lunch that's just fine with him!


At Monday, May 14, 2007, Blogger Neighborsman said...

Wow, that's the best surprise party trick ever!

btw, I've switched my blog to selected viewers only, I need your email address (and your daughter's) to add you guys as viewers. just send it to me at my hotmail account,


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