How To Get A Million Hits On Your Blog

Southern Man would be happy with a half-dozen regular readers and a couple of comments every now and then. But "getting hits" seems to be the theme in the last day or two. Even the mighty Instapundit took a few moments to point us towards advice to a young blogger. So Southern Man is going to read all of this advice and see what it takes to get a little traffic or a comment or two.

Last night Southern Man was halfheartedly grading exams bored and surfing commenter links at Roissy when he stumbled across Single White Alcoholic Seeks Same (mostly hilarious stories of drunken debauchery) and found a post in which the author claims that the vast majority of his hits came from Google searches on the word "threesome." Threesome. Threesome. Threesome. We'll see how it goes.


An xkcd cartoon that may or may not be about a threesome. Not that Southern Man would know anything about that. Threesomes, that is. He knows quite a bit about physics, though. That's actually a little discouraging, isn't it?

Many bloggers advocates the occasional application of cheesecake so here's some vintage nose art:


And then there are those who promote all of this boring advice like "post many times each day" and "focus on a single interesting topic" and "hump the Google search algorithm like a 50¢ whore on cowboy payday." Sounds too much like work for Southern Man's taste. And then there's "send me money and I'll drive traffic your way but don't ask how, you don't want to know." No thanks.

The final word is of course Stacy McCain's now legendary "How To Get A Million Hits On Your Blog" which gives a five step process consisting of...well, read it for yourself. Part of that advice was "steal content" and "make enemies." Well, one of them was, anyway. Thanks for the title, Stacy!

But, traffic or not, Southern Man will take to heart the blogger's creed...


...and will happily continue to post trivia about his life and stories about his kids and movie reviews and the occasional political comment whether anyone reads it or not.