Southern Man

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Dating Lists

Every now and then Southern Man surfs the Craiglist singles board just to see what's out there. He even emails a few from the southernmanblog address but rarely gets a response; perhaps one in ten. This isn't surprising as these sites are about 90% desperate beta male and Southern Man's own casual online-dating experiments with fake profiles demonstrate that pretty much any female profile will get dozens (if not hundreds) of responses. He's still got a couple of two-year-old ones out there built around very average-looking stock photos and mundane profiles that get several messages a week even now. Yes, many are cock shots. However on the plus side the number of "anonymous" commenters here at has been rising of late; perhaps his little dating-site email campaign is indeed attracting a few new readers.

Anyway, this last time he was amused to find an unusually large number of posts with fairly lengthy and explicit lists in what is required in a man. Here's one, copied verbatim from the ad:
Must be single!
Older gentleman (40-52)
White, Middle Eastern, or Asian
Emotionally stable
Responsible and respectful
Enjoys travelling, the outdoors, wine...
And this from a fairly average girl who even admits to being "curvaceous." We all know what that means. Other lists are similar: requirements in height, weight, appearance, age, race, income...but none ask for what is truly important, and that is character. Southern Man has fond memories of his first online romance; she had written a post asking for a man with good character. It really stood out from the others and we ended up dating for about a year and a half. So those of you who wandered here because you got an email from southernmanblog - consider that a man that provides everything on this list but has no character is no catch, and if you find a man with good character you won't care about the rest of your list.

Not to brag, but Southern Man is all that and a bag of chips. Great catch that he is, he also has a first-date list: 
Unfair? Too bad; our manly brains are hard-wired that way. Yes, it's tough to be slender in this incredible land of plenty but Southern Man has the discipline to eat properly and takes the time to drag his flabby ass to the gym three times a week and he expects the same from you. If he can lose as much weight as he did (ex-wife is an incredible country cook and put a hundred pounds on him the first year) so can you. Note that if you're slender, you're already well up the attractiveness scale in comparison to most of your peers. And the masculine seeks the feminine. 

Now, once the initial requirements are met for a first date, what about the potential for an actual relationship? While chatting you up over coffee or drinks or geocaching Southern Man will be qualifying you with yet another list to see if you are someone who can provide
Unconditional respect
Emotional comfort
Physical pleasure (which is more than just sex)
The first is basic: guys need unconditional respect in the same way that girls need unconditional love. The Apostle Paul nailed that one two thousand years ago, yet failure to understand this is the root cause of many a divorce. The rest is also simple: most guys seek in a girlfriend that which his male friends cannot provide. A lot of girls make sure they include their love of the outdoors and hiking and fishing and sports and all those things that they think guys care about. Sure, these things make a nice bonus, but that's second-tier stuff; your entertainment duties (yes, you are expected to entertain us) fall under somewhat different territory: we're looking for a girlfriend, not another outdoor adventure companion. Although if you become Southern Man's girlfriend you will share many adventures with him.

So, girls, those of you looking for love online, be more aware of what you're asking for. Sure, you can dream, but if you're realistic you won't shoot for attributes that are beyond what you yourself can match - in other words, if you want a prince you damn well better be a princess. Put some thought into what he wants and how you can provide it. And good luck! Every lonely soul that finds a companion makes the world a happier place.


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