Diets

As regular readers know Southern Man has adopted Taube's diet advice of low carbs and starches, which is consistent with the increasingly-popular "paleo" diets (eat anything that grows or that you can hunt). And yesterday he dropped in on a diet support group at work to see what they were up to (and to see if there were any cute dieting co-workers to co-opt into his own private support group) and found that the USDA has adopted a new eating guideline called MyPlate.



It's interesting to compare this to the old Food Pyramid...



...and for once it looks like the government's advice is actually moving in the right direction by reducing grains (and the accompanying carbs and starches) from nearly half the recommended diet to less than a quarter. Note that some (including Southern Man) argue that even that is too much and grains ought to be dispensed with about the same rarity as dessert. MyPlate is also a testament to the tireless work of the dairy special interests. One also notices that fats, once deemed evil, are not mentioned at all in the new scheme, but neither are sweets. Yes, dear readers, "added sugar" was once included as a part of the government's recommended diet.

So Southern Man is pleased to introduced Southern Man's Platter^TM which is the only diet advice you really need.


In Southern Man's Platter^TM whole-grain products and starchy veggies, like dessert, may be consumed in small quantities. Processed foods are permitted as occasional snacks; heck, anything you want (even grits!) is permitted, on occasion and in small quantities, as long as the majority of your diet is as above. Recommended drinks are water, milk, fruit juice (but be wary of the source), and (occasionally) diet sodas or adult beverages. Or diet sodas and adult beverages, as Diet Sprite and Triple Sec make a fine inexpensive mixed drink (Diet Sprite and Grand Marnier is much better, but much pricier). Eat like Southern Man and be healthy, wealthy (as you're not spending all your hard-earned cash on processed foods and eating out), and wise (for following Southern Man's advice, like the fear of the Lord, is the beginning of wisdom).