Southern Man

Friday, March 30, 2012


For whatever reason Southern Man is cautiously dipping his toe back into the dating pool. Why? He probably couldn't even answer you. Men seek relationships for three reasons: physical pleasure (and, yes, that does include lots and lots of hot steamy sex, although these days Southern Man would happily forgo sex for a good footrub), emotional support, and children. Southern Man has had his children (although he might go another round if the right one comes along), got along without much emotional support for most of his relationship life, and finds plenty of pleasure in other activities. There's no reason for him to want to date again. But he's more or less keeping an eye open nonetheless.

To little avail. Frankly, there's not much of a dating pool from which to select. He won't date students or co-workers or the girls in the church singles group and that's pretty much the entirety of his work and social life outside La Casa. And since he doesn't go clubbing or bar-hopping or hit on girls at Wal-Mart, that leaves online. So every now and then he surfs profiles or inbox messages (yes, Southern Man has a few profiles out there, on the free sites) and if one catches his eye he responds.

The result is always the same. There will be an exchange of emails and interest will grow and Southern Man will suggest a meet for coffee or drinks and the girl will flake on him. Every time.

It is no doubt the nature of online dating; in the online world guys outnumber girls by a large margin and a lot of guys play a numbers game and message hundreds of girls a week hoping for two or three dates so anyone with a profile that indicates that she is (a) female and (b) breathing gets an endless avalanche of interest in her in-box (and Southern Man has a couple of test profiles to prove it). Southern Man is lost in the crowd. Too bad for them; he'd be an awesome catch. Perhaps. Perhaps not. There are certainly a couple of exes that would say "not."

Oh, well. It's probably for the best. It's hard to get used to the single life - Southern Man was pretty much continuously in some kind of LTR from high school until two years ago. And, frankly, he rather likes his freedom and has pretty high standards for any potential girlfriend. In all probability he's going to be single for the rest of his days. But knowing that probably won't stop him from trying to date again, every now and then.


At Friday, March 30, 2012, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have known you for four years now and I KNOW that God is preparing a woman for you. Just be patient. His timing is always longer than yours. You will know her when you meet her. Keep the faith Southern Man!

At Saturday, March 31, 2012, Anonymous Anonymous said...

thought you were only married once, or did you mean ex's as in girlfriends?

At Sunday, April 01, 2012, Anonymous Anonymous said...

To state the obvious, you are physically ready to date/marry. BUT the real question is are you spiritually and more important emotionally ready. Have you honestly unpacked all the baggage from your other relationships? No one wants or needs anothers' baggage...we have enough of our own. Are you ready? Then go for it!


At Tuesday, April 10, 2012, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I met some wonderful women on

At Sunday, April 29, 2012, Blogger Southern Man said...

After the separation (and, yes, before the divorce) I was so deep in despair that I got a paid membership on Match and the very first person< that I messaged ended up dating me for about two years. She was a terrific girl; finding her right off that bat was like winning the lottery. I doubt that I'll be that lucky again.

At Tuesday, August 21, 2012, Anonymous said...

My reason is just for fun, so i don't care.


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